Tonight I sat parked in my 98' Nissan Altima
crying alone in a gas station parking lot.
Dad called, said he's already found a new girl.
Divorce isn't even final yet.
He took her to California this weekend on a secret vacation.
Didn't even try to call me or visit me.
I haven't seen my dad in months.
I, of course, am the only child he told.
If I don't comply
do as he says
keep my mouth shut about it
ill be "sorry."
So, my lips are sealed...Just as they always have been.
I'd say I would be scared about Mom finding out,
that it would break her fragile heart.
But to be completely honest
I truly don't think she's got anything left in there.
I can see it in her eyes. They're dull.
Can't remember if I've ever seen happiness in my mothers eyes.
It makes me sad.
I want to help my family but everyone is so far gone in so many different directions
I couldn't hear them even if they screamed.
I wish they were here. I wish my brothers were here.
I miss them. I get so emotional if I even think about them.
They don't know it, but those dumb sons of bitches are the only things in my life
that have stayed constant, and have stayed a happy thing in my life. I miss them.
I miss how everything used to be. I don't want to feel alone anymore.
