insadnity insadnity proshchannya

Too much going on inside my head right now, cant bring myself to string any decent lines together....Sometimes a song can say it better than you can, right?

"When everything is lonely I can be my own best friend.

I'll get a coffee and the paper, have my own conversation.

with the sidewalk and the pigeons, and my window reflection.

the mascot polish in the evening by the morning looks likes shit. 

And I know you have a heavy heart, I can feel it when we kiss.

So many men stronger than me have thrown there backs out tryin' to lift it.

but me I'm not a gamble, you can count on me to split.

The love I sell you in the evening by the morning wont exist.

You're looking skinny like a model with your eyes all painted black

just keep going to the bathroom always say you'll be right back

well it takes one to know one, kid, I think you've got it bad.

But whats so easy in the evening by the morning's such a drag.

I've got a flask inside my pocket, we can share it on the train.

And if you promise to stay conscious, I will try and do the same.

We might die from medication but we sure killed all the pain.

But what was normal in the evening by the morning seems insane

And I'm not sure what the trouble was that started all of this

the reasons all have run away but the feeling never did

its, not something I would recommend but it is one way to live.

whats so simple in the moonlight, by the morning never is"

Lua- Bright Eyes

Proshchannya

Heavy eyes

tired soul

packed my bags

ready to go.

heart is sunk

this was expected

 by God, the Devil's won

He never left my side.

I close my child eyes and I see my sisters face

just a teardrop falling from Gods eye

broken spine

unhinged mind

clock's running out of time

trapped under the world

chained inside violent thoughts

suffocation from an imploding chest

I'm not a star

never was

Come close so I can push you away

drive drunk and weep till judgement day

pray on bruised knees

 for a tree to come directly your way...

but 

we all know

The giving tree gave too much;

she wasn't really happy

Trying to think of words to write

But there's nothing poetic about redundancy

nothing beautiful about bloody flowers

no mystery inside a pair of motionless ribs

so I guess I'll finish by saying

Proshchannya Proshchannya 

It doesnt have to make sense at 1 am

We started the night playing "Sorry" in your room,

 and we ended it by trying to say it to our parents. 

Only problem was, we couldn't find our voices.

As kids we make dumb mistakes,

 some kiss bottles, some kiss babes...hell! majority of us have all lost 

track of our grades.. Impulse, desire, blame and pressure. I'm not sure 

I could feel any "lesser" because,

"kids aren't supposed to flirt with the devil"

and "kids aren't meant to ingest the sun"

But we do anyway.

Tick.

Everything was fine, Although I could see her fingertips projecting demonic sunshine.

Tick.

Her arms ached for Mom, and her neck had begun to shiver without its head..

 but now all that's left is her broken frame. crack. crease. stain.

-tickticktick-

Are you okay? You know you're looking a little bit gray...

I remember I couldn't respond..not with my mouth or my thought.

But I could..I could with the rhythm of my heart:

"help me.

help me.

help me.

help me."

deep sea green eyes turn to sidewalk chalk-TICK

needles stab veins like a cold February break up-TICK

Mother Earth caught you dancing in the rain-TICK

find a reason to hang on find a reason to-TICK

.

.

.

BREATHE. 

When the ticks went away, so did the pride.

And I never told you this, but your eyes were a lovely shade of brown.

.

.

.

people werent created to say goodbye.

Because, I look at you, I see all the ways that a soul can bruise, 

and I wish I could sink my hands into your flesh and light lanterns along your 

spine ...so you know that there's nothing but light when I see you. 

Breathe..

Be happy.

Be happy.

I am happy.

Tick