We held hands in the tattoo shop.

Everyone has their own at some point. 

Whether its a "Pumpkin" or a "Cutie-Pie" or a "Honey".

We've all had that one person that literally broke more than just your heart. 

they broke your entire existence...shattered your mind, and hid the tools to fix it.

In my case, I had a Claude Debussy. 

I refer to you as my Claude Debussy because I know you cant listen to him without thinking of that night either. And strangely enough that brings me comfort. 

I refer to you as my Claude Debussy because his music floods my troubled mind with our memories from the past. 

Like that time we decorated your room with glow lights while drinking coffee and coloring. 

Or the time we had our first kiss and right after, you just walked away (still confused about that)

All the countless times I have belly laughed at you because you face planted it.

When you timidly admitted that you can't get me off your mind any time you're drunk.
I wish you wouldn't drink..

And all those relentless tickle fights.

I miss those memories. They absolutely crush my chest. 

I fear those memories. There's so many years of pain in them.

I fear you because I shouldn't miss you. 

But hell, I do. I always do.

 The fear lies in the fact that you have no control over your feelings for another beating heart. 

I wish I could erase our memories of each other and start over.

I wish you weren't so moronic sometimes. 

I wish I could stop loving you. 

who knows, maybe I don't. 

All I know is that anytime I'm around you I forget myself and only care about you. 

Whatever you're corrupted black heart desired, I would do it. 

You make me laugh, You make me smile. You understand me. You don't make me feel like an outcast.

that scares me shitless.

Because you hurt me. You hurt me to the point where I will never be the same. No matter how hard I try,  I will never go back to the person I was before I met you. You used me, literally objectified me. You turned out the light inside my mind, and abandoned me in my newfound darkness. I shouldn't be talking to you again. 

I shouldn't be talking to you again.

Claude Debussy=Trouble.

I've always been attracted to trouble.