Daddy's are supposed to be superheros.
They aren't supposed to call you "worthless" or "weak"
Daddy's are supposed to make you feel infinite..
I invite you inside this child's mind, she said you may take a peek.
He isn't supposed to make you believe you're sick when you aren't
or stir your brains up right from the very start.
or stir your brains up right from the very start.
.
.
.
But nonetheless, he screams his lungs into the living room air,
provoking the hot tears that peer over her red rimmed eyes
and making her insecure...even about the size of her thighs.
Mommy tries to help
she wants to protect her,
but we all know that an injured bird cannot take flight.
It's okay mommy, she can handle this.
Please stop crying, it's not your fault. It never was.
And how heavy a child's heart must feel
when "pop's" makes a deal
to go separate ways.
They wont ever speak,
and she knows you're counting on this becoming a forever streak.
to go separate ways.
They wont ever speak,
and she knows you're counting on this becoming a forever streak.
And does daddy know, that as she lays down to sleep tonight
she debates swaying the white flag, and surrendering to this endless fight?
As his booming words rattle his child's hollow rib-cage...
she feels her heart beat descend into a rare occurrence.
one deep breath
two deep breaths
three deep breaths
I didn't turn out like you wanted me too.
None of us did.
yet I seem to be the only punished kid.
and I know I'm right, I can see the truth reflecting in my mothers sunken eyes.
She doesn't deny it..
So why daddy? why?
I know you don't like questions, but I'm asking anyway. I've waited 17 years for a damn answer.
You feel yourself spiraling downward, yet you're still standing on the kitchen tile.
I think I'll go to sleep for awhile.
I think I'll go to sleep for awhile.
.... this is heartbreaking.... Beautiful writing, breathtaking post.
ReplyDelete"but we all know that an injured bird cannot take flight."
ReplyDeleteParents often tare us down and expect us to want to do better for them.. I don't understand parents thinking. I really liked this post even though it's sad. Thank you for writing this. The surrendering to this endless fight part, really hit me.
This ripped my heart out and put it back in upside down. My dad has always been the one to support me no matter what. Even when my mother tore me down endlessly without realizing it. I can't even imagine this in my life but it opened my eyes and made me feel so much I was on the brink of tears. It was simply beautiful and heartbreaking
ReplyDeleteThere goes my heart.
ReplyDeleteExactly what Nelson said. Flat Stanley, I just want to give you a hug, the way you wrote that tore at me. No one should have to go through that, thank you for sharing, thank you for being brave, and thank you for never raising that white flag.
ReplyDelete