I misplaced my brain last night.

        This morning, I chose to eat cheerios. I wanted to see if it could make me "be happy, be healthy"

It didn't work.

This morning, I tried to wear my heart on my sleeve, but when I pulled it out of my chest it was just a big pile of hamburger meat.

This morning, when I stepped outside my front door, I inhaled the cold air deep into my weak lungs.

I told my feet to go, we had a class to make it to on time.

Little shits never listen to me.

This morning when I woke up, I looked in the mirror and saw emptiness.

I looked in that mirror and I didn't see myself. But then again, I cant recall if I ever have.

I layed in bed, staring at my plain white ceiling with the alarm blaring for a whole hour today. I guess I may have found comfort in the repetitiveness of the beeps.

either that, or I truly have lost my mind.

When I was little, I thought I could control the weather. I'd stand in the middle of my backyard, hold my tiny arms out and tell the wind to "Stop."

I know it was coincidence, but man..it really stopped every. single. time.

The hard realization is that I don't control the weather anymore. It controls me.


same with fear. 

paranoia. 

over thinking.

My father.

..you.

This morning I woke up and realized that I don't give a damn about anything anymore.

I have yet to decide if that's a positive or a negative thing.



And this morning, I decided not to put real honey on my cheerios.